Eric Massa will now be known as....

Sergeant Snorkel!!!

Sergeant Snorkel was the comicstrip character Beetle Baily's supervisor. Eric Massa, it has been alleged, tried to "snorkel" a fellow Navy man:

Clarke says that Massa's roommate, Tom Maxfield, was also assaulted. "Tom
lived on upper bunk," Clarke say. "When you're on ship, you're almost exhausted
24-7. So a lot of times you sleep with your uniform on. Tom and Massa shared a
stateroom together. Massa climbed up on the top of his bunk, which is hard to
do--you never crawl up on somebody else's bunk. He wakes up to Massa undoing his
pants trying to snorkel him."